The Lotto Win...

I was once asked, by a rather kooky recruitment consultant, what I would do if I won the lotto. I answered, in all naivety "a PhD". Well here I am, three years, no, nearly four years in and it's not exactly proving to be the ultimate dream catcher that I once envisioned of it. I'm sure it could be. And I'm sure when floppy hat day eventually arrives it will be one of the happiest and proudest days of my life (my father's too), but holy jesus, I'm going to need some serious motivation and inspiration to get there.

I guess I always knew this would be an issue. To say I have a lazy streak is a gross understatement of the facts. Motivation is also seriously lacking in my world. Coupled together, these two major flaws of mine could spell disaster for my academic adventure. I also have another problem, in that I'm quite happy where I am, thank you very much and as long as I don't bankrupt myself, could be quite content pottering around college for the foreseeable future. I assume this has something to do with the fact that I have absolutely no clue what to do with myself when I do eventually hand the precious Thesis in. The thought of actually applying for jobs, interviewing and making big life-changing decisions pretty much fills me with dread. Possibly because I worry that my efforts over the past few years, which have been mediocre at best, just aren't good enough and that I'll get found out again. Oh god, I think I feel a little bit sick. Time to hide under the covers and dream about massive lottery wins.

For the record, if I did win the lotto tomorrow, the revised list of things to do is as follows:

1. Pay someone to finish the PhD. Ok, so not exactly true. But I may have to employ someone to stand over me with a whip and make use of fear tactics and intimidation to bully and abuse me into working.
2. Buy the bungalow 2 doors down and get the builders in to transform it into a super cosy Cathy house complete with a kitchen Jamie Oliver himself would be jealous of. Oh to have an island in my kitchen and to cook with gas....
3. Do that creative writing course I've always wanted to do. Considering, at this point, how much of my PhD I may have to fabricate, I feel it's important to be able to tap into the inventive and imaginative side of my brain.
4. Haul ass down to Ballymaloe for a few months and have Darina et al teach me how to chef it up and really tickle the taste-buds. What's the point of the gas and the island if they're underutilised?
5. Hola! Finally learn Spanish. "La copa está bajo del autobus...". With phrases such as these I might see about finally bagging me a Spanish Senor. 
6. Get me a personal trainer. Actually, I probably wouldn't. I'd just go to boxing and yoga more often & use that killer combination of Zen and aggression to get rid of the belly wobbles.
7. Volunteer in the Dogs & Cats home and spend my days with some tail-wagging flea-bags. This however, is on the condition that I don't go crazy and adopt every dog I see. How many is too many I wonder? Anything over 4 I suspect.
8. And if I won big, donate some cash to the good folks at Barratstown. Either way I'd have to dessert the dogs for a few weeks and go have fun with the kids.
9. Travel and all that Jazz. First stops, Vietnam and Cambodia.

Best go buy me that winning ticket...